The Cinderella Complex
Astrological Love Guide – The Quest For the Glass Slipper
By Dikki-Jo Mullen
It is one of the most familiar and beloved of story lines. A single lady (or gentleman) is overwhelmed, carrying life’s baggage all alone, then she (or perhaps he) is rescued by a Prince (or maybe a Princess) Charming.
He probably serves her Dom Perignon, the arrival on a white horse might be replaced by a Jaguar or Aston-Martin in the driveway. The wicked stepmother has become the 9 to 5 drudgery of an exhausting job. The basic fantasy stays the same though. The romance novel, in all of its best selling forms, has become the modern day fairy tale for all who feel like Cinderella. Endless days of just trying to survive leaves one feeling too exhausted or too broke to waltz away into a bright world of joy and dreams, of fun and luxury. Hope is held out that rescue from the reality dragons of daily life will somehow come about.
Some years ago psychologist Collette Dowling coined the term The Cinderella Complex to describe how many women are unable to form really healthy relationships because they are seeking someone to rescue them from the need to fulfill their true potentials. Such dependency carries a terribly high price, even if the partner appears to be a rescuer in the initial stages of the relationship. If the rescuer becomes ill or loses interest in the relationship, after the woman has invested years of her life in trying to maintain the fantasy, the loss can be beyond devastating. Males can likewise be afflicted with the Cinderella Complex looking for a companion, perhaps a mother figure, to take care of them.
Boredom, career frustration, the spectre of passing time and old age can torment people of both genders and all ages into retreating from life. Astrology can provide a key to finding strength and protection from within, which in turn assures the formation of a really healthy and nurturing relationship situation with the right life partner. Yes, a marriage or alternative committed situation is an important part of a fulfilled life, but it can’t be the entire reason for living in today’s world. Keeping one’s identity ( not losing the you within you) intact, is essential.
Astrologically speaking a serious case of the Cinderella Complex can develop when the Moon is in a hard angle aspect to Venus, Mercury and/or Neptune. A lack of strong aspects to the Sun, ascendant and/or first house ruler will intensify this problem. An afflicted Moon in the natal chart represents vulnerability and emotional instability. Venus is the feminine expression of love, Mercury relates to the mental attitude toward love, Neptune, if afflicted, can indicate unhealthy obsessions. Mars describes the expression of passion and physical desires. A retrograde or weakly placed Mars can show passive, overly reserved tendencies.
The 7th house of the birth chart is the key to what type of relationship would be best. In a solar chart, this is the sign opposite the familiar birth sign. In the natal chart, it is the sign opposite the ascendant or rising sign. These indicators show the path to follow in rescuing oneself from the Cinderella Complex. Most of us have a touch of this wish at some point in our lives. Here are some astrological tips to tuck your own secret Cinderella safely away in the castle. Check the suggestions for both your rising sign (ascendant) and the Sun sign (that is the familiar birth sign everyone knows).
ARIES
With Libra and Venus as your relationship indicators developing public relations skills and recognizing the need for balance and justice in partnerships is your key to happiness. Beware of letting relationships become too competitive. Avoid power struggles. Developing your artistic skills, getting involved in cultural events in the community can bring the ideal relationship your way. Teamwork and togetherness are your happiness keynotes.
TAURUS
Scorpio, Mars and Pluto guide your relationship roles. An energetic and stimulating person is what you need for happiness. Seek the one who inspires enthusiasm and helps you overcome that tendency to procrastinate. Avoid those who seem jealous or possessive, those twin demons can be your stumbling blocks in forming a healthy relationship. Focus on a spiritual detachment allowing greater individual freedom to pave the way for the right special someone to enter your life.
GEMINI
Sagittarius and Jupiter describe your best relationship situation. Seek someone who has ethical and philosophical values you admire. Travel, higher education, and connections at your place of worship can put you in touch with a compatible partner. Avoid anyone who makes promises and then doesn’t deliver or who gambles on grandiose schemes that are too risky.
CANCER
Your relationships indicators are Saturn and Capricorn. Patience is essential, the axiom marry in haste, repent at leisure could have been written for you. Look for someone who shows an interest in your future and welfare and whose business interests you can share. Be cautious if the potential beloved reveals overly critical tendencies or withholds affection as a means of controlling the relationship. Your natural reserve can make you uncomfortable with crowds or extremely extroverted people. An age gap often works in your favor, though.
LEO
Aquarius, Uranus and Saturn are your relationship guides. In partnerships you like to retain a freedom of spirit. A partner who is involved in politics, human rights issues, or other projects which accent the universal good can bring out the best in you. Accepting that relationships can change and grow, finding someone who can adapt to your own waxing and waning feelings is important too.
VIRGO
Neptune, Jupiter and Pisces impact your closest relationships. Whimsical and imaginative partners, those who can relieve your natural anxiety and tendency to be super organized, are good choices. Medicine, the fine arts and education are worthwhile interests to share. A positive element in your best relationships is always psychic rapport. Look for one with whom unspoken communication is easy and natural. If you share a remembered dream upon awakening, this could be the one for you.
LIBRA
You are pointed toward the right person by Mars and Aries. Peace in relationships comes paradoxically through developing assertiveness to gain cooperation. Staying active and physically fit, with a positive attitude toward competition, will bring out the good in any partnership. Dealing with athletes, military personnel, working with the general public, especially with projects that are innovative and pioneering, will bring healthy relationship your way.
SCORPIO
Taurus and Venus will guide you toward the ideal relationship. Seek someone who feels the same way you do about money management. Sharing investments as well as a desire to spend money in the same way can build a spirit of true unity. Musical or artistic individuals can attract you. You might find worthwhile contacts in the banking and finance fields as well. You dislike being alone and will be happiest with someone who is content with keeping lasting attachments and deep connections. Healing from the disappointment of early romantic fiascos is a major step in achieving lasting happiness.
SAGITTARIUS
Mercury and Gemini are your relationship indicators. Binding commitments that have a sameness about them can make you feel stifled. Accept that everyone can be boring sometimes. Otherwise the grass-is -greener syndrome can pose serious stumbling blocks. Versatile and intelligent individuals are your best choices. Seek someone who is multi-lingual, involved in travel or the communications industry. Mental rapport, greeting cards, letters, e-mail, etc. can play a key role in worthwhile relationship development for you.
CAPRICORN
The Moon and Cancer affect your strongest relationship bonds. It is essential that you not let those you care for become overly dependent upon you for emotional support. The extended family concept, incorporating the relatives of your beloved into your own life, can work well. Seek a partner whose heritage and home life are appealing to you. Similar tastes in decorating, cooking meals together, as well as real estate dealings can forge a lasting connection. You can enjoy history as well as memorabilia and collectibles together.
AQUARIUS
The Sun and Leo describe your partnerships. Look for a warm hearted person who encourages the perpetual inner child in your nature. Forever young at heart, the spirit of leadership and community involvement are all factors to seek. Image and dignity are also important considerations. Loyalty under all circumstances is a sensitive issue. Be careful not to overshadow your partner with your own projects and goals. Share the limelight.
PISCES
Mercury and Virgo are your relationship indicators. You’ll enjoy precise and efficient types who speak and think clearly, adding a practical touch to the relationship. Quell a tendency to expect too much perfection as unreasonable idealism can make it hard for you to find contentment with that special person. Enjoying health, diet and physical fitness programs can forge lasting ties. Bright, talkative individuals who inspire you to sharpen your intellectual capabilities are good prospects. The exchange of constructive criticism will help the right relationship to grow, enabling you to accomplish what you most wish for together.
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Astrologers and Serious Students of the Stars:
For deeper insights into the very sensitive and important topic of relationship dynamics consider the aspects and house placement to the planet ruling the 7th house cusp. Also carefully analyze the degrees of the signs and the aspects of planets in the 7th house. The aspect between the rulers of the 1st and 7th houses is of great importance in determining a persons potential for having a good relationship at all. A conjunction promises unity, and gives a natural gift for cooperation. A square or opposition will bring a certain sparkle of excitement, but bonds can be turbulent. In a negative situation this can escalate into violence. The trine or sextile aspects are in harmony and a smooth, loving life together is likely. Intimate relationships will be symbiotic with the trine or sextile present between the rulers of the 1st and 7th houses.
When there isn’t a major aspect between the rulers of the 1st and 7th, the person can be a lone wolf type, one who maintains a spirit of profound individuality and doesnt bond with others or find deeply committed situations of importance.
You can get some good insight and clarity through a love horoscope
Thank you Dolores, love is so mysterious and crazy, hopefully astrology can help a bit.